Sweetest Goodbye
by Krys Xanthina
Summary: I can't help it... Another ROMY songFic... Damn muses. Rogue's been cold lately, and Remy's starting to wonder... Finished
1. Sweetest Goodbye

**Sweetest Goodbye**

_A/N: Sorry its been a while. I will get around to updating, I promise.... and I know I'm MAJORLY behind with my reviewing as well.... My comp's being iffy and wont let me access all the stories. **Ishandahalf** – Really sorry. Yours is one of the ones I can't access at the moment.  
Anywho, after this, I'm updating.... Probably Lore's Intro.. I forget the name.... Probably shouldn't drink wine. Its bad for your memory, and typing, hence you'll have to forgive ALL typo's. Well, not all of them.... Some of them are because I'm a damned Britt!_

_-------------------_

_**Where you are, seems to be as far as an eternity  
Out stretched arms, open hearts and  
If it never ends, then when do we start?  
**_

She'd been so distant lately. She barely ate, barely slept, and barely spoke.... Something not unusual for Rogue, but it un-nerved Gambit to see her like this. She was there.... but she wasn't. Her body was, but her mind was somewhere else.... Somewhere far away where he couldn't go, and he hated it. He hated holding her, knowing she barely felt it.... he hated the sound of her breathing, showing she was awake and not asleep. Before, he hadn't been able to sleep until he heard her breathing change, and now, it never did. It never slowed, never showed tell-tale signs of sleep, because she didn't.

She looked like she was sleeping.. She could fool anyone.... Anyone but him. He always knew, and she knew he knew. What really bothered him was – Did she CARE?

_**  
I'll never leave you behind, or treat you unkind  
I know you understand. oh...  
And with a tear in my eye  
give me the sweetest goodbye, that I ever did recieve  
**_

She'd come to his room that night, and a silent understanding passed between them. She'd been different since she could touch, and different since she'd last absorbed him. He did worry that she'd received some of his worse memories, but chance were, she'd already had them several thousand times over.

As she crossed the room to him, no gloves, no over-shirt, no tights and no combat boots, She smiled faintly at him. This was it. They both knew it and neither could deny it. It had been coming for some time.

The moment needed no words, and awkwardly, after a moment of looking at each other, she finally tilted his chin up and kissed him softly, demandingly, and slowly, he began to respond to this.... Stranger. This Rogue that wasn't his. The Rogue that never would be.

_**  
Pushing forward and arching back  
Brings me closer to heart attack  
Say good bye and just fly away  
when you come back,  
I have some things to say  
**_

Clothes were shed rapidly, and just discarded on the floor. As Remy lay back, Rogue moved up alongside him, her body pressing into his, as he pulled the sheets up around her hips. For once, she didn't look so far away.... She looked.... almost close. Almost present, but not quite. He'd used to think that look was because of her telepathy, but it didn't appear so. She wasn't using any powers. And he'd long since learnt that that was just the way she was becoming. Cold and Emotionless.... if he couldn't have sworn she'd said 'I love you' a few nights back, he would have believed it. It seemed that way, even now, as her lovely face contorted slightly with pain, and her dull emerald eyes squeezed shut, her nails digging into his shoulders slightly as she gave him what he'd taken from so many others without caring.

_**  
How does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone  
when you get home?**_

Was this how he'd looked to them – cold and emotionless? No.... He couldn't have done.... His eyes always seemed to have that spark in them.... the smouldering embers of desire when he looked at Rogue. It wasn't love.... he'd promised himself that, and he reminded himself as he moved with her, holding onto her and repeatedly asking if she was alright. No answer, just a nod or a shake. She was starting to remind him of Emma Frost....  
  
**_Dream away everyday  
try so hard to disreguard  
The rhythm of the rain that drops  
and coincides with the beating of my heart_**

Afterwards, as he lay next to her, her just resting in his arms, letting her heart-rate and breathing return to normal, she'd turned and wiped away the tear starting to form in the corner of his eye. Watching her for a moment, she just looked back. At some point, she'd gotten here.... Her mind had re-joined her body, and he thought he could almost see the sadness in her soul as she studied his face, as though she couldn't remember seeing it before and wasn't going to see it again. Memorising every line, every wrinkle and crease.

**_I'll never leave you behind, or treat you unkind  
I know you understand. hey, oh, oh...  
and with a tear in my eye, give me the sweetest goodbye  
That I ever ever ever did receive_**

As he reached out to touch her cheek, she shrank back, the spell broken, and slid out of the bed, gathering her clothes and putting them back on slowly. He watched her, noting how her head was always bowed downwards, and he started to feel bad for, what had been on his part, an act of love. On her part, he wasn't sure what it had been. As she finished, zipping up the knee-high leather boots she'd left in his room a week ago, she stood and picked up a picture off his desk.... Them on one of their first dates together.

He opened his mouth to speak and she shook her head, setting the picture face-down with finality. You could almost hear his heart break in the silent room, shattering into a thousand pieces, each one smaller and finer than a grain of sand.  
  
**_How does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone  
when you get home?  
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go  
So I can show you how I feel._**

Moving back to the bed, she leant over and placed a soft kiss on his forehead, stroking his chin slightly as she did, and he thought he caught a glimmer of a tear in her eyes. No, it couldn't be. Rogue was emotionless.... She truly was a Rogue now.

She crossed the room quickly, opening the door and picking up her bags that were waiting outside before she looked back. He'd sat up, just watching her. As she met his gaze, she quickly pulled hers away and walked hurredly down the corridor and out of the front door. She was leaving.... She couldn't be late.... And she couldn't let him see her cry.

_**How does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone  
when you get home?  
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go  
So I can show you how I feel.  
**_

They'd both known it was coming to this. One day, she was just going to leave. Not because she didn't love him anymore.... But because she had to. She wanted to find her family.... To hug her mother, her REAL mother, and be able to say that she could stay because she wasn't dangerous anymore. To be accepted as something other than a mutant. Someone other than Rogue. It didn't matter what Remy did, he just couldn't do it. To him, she was Rogue – the gorgeous, breath-taking sight that had captured his heart, even if he sometimes wondered if she still cared for it.... for him.

_**  
Pushing forward and arching back  
Brings me closer to heart attack  
Say good bye and just fly away  
when you come back,  
I have some things to say**_

He moved to the window, watching her put her stuff in the car before she hugged Ororo. Glancing up at the window at him, she hugged Logan next, before glancing up once again, and climbing in the car. His hand pressed against the window, as if it would stop her going, but he just didn't have the power to do that....

He could always charge up the window, but she'd hate him for it. She'd hate him for making her stay. Maybe she wouldn't stay.... and he'd hate her for it. No, it wouldn't work, either way. Rogue was too compassionate to leave when he was hurt.... wasn't she? He was hurting now and she was still leaving.... Her leaving was making his heart break.  
  
**_How does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone  
when you get home?  
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go  
To show you I feel...feel...feel...feel_**

As a tear rolled down her face, Rogue looked back at the mansion one last time, before nodding to Scott to drive her to the airport. She couldn't stay here with him. She loved him too much.

A tear fell down Remy's face, splashing against his hand as he stayed at the window, hoping the car would turn around and come back. She'd run upto his room, they'd embrace..... and she'd be as cold as ever. Perhaps this would do them good....

He couldn't help hoping the car would come back with her in it though. He couldn't help wishing she'd change her mind, and most of all, he couldn't help thinking that this was his fault.


	2. Call Meh When Ya Sober

_**Song is Evanescence's "Call Me When You're Sober".**_

It had been three months since she left the institute, three months since she'd first touched another person, and three months since she'd left Remy.

…Remy…

That name always caused a little pain in her chest. Not the cant-breathe kind of pain she sometimes got, but the tight, don't want to breathe pain.

She couldn't think about that now… She'd left, thinking she didn't care for him, only to find out that it hurt to be alone now. She couldn't think of him now… not now, not when she had to go out there and sing about him in a moment. That's what she did… She helped behind the bar here, and sang every now and again, to keep the customers coming in. This place was almost like home… The bouncer on the doors reminded her of Logan in his gruff ways, always calling her kid… the couple that owned this place were so much like the Professor and Ororo… and their son, so much like Scott and Kurt in his way. A sort of cute, annoying little brother, that she'd never wanted, nor asked for.

"Marie… You're on sweetheart." She looked up from her mirror, to the door.

"Thank y' Mister Janes. Ah'll be out in a second." She smiled at the older man as he left to go and announce her, as he always did. Running a final hand through her hair, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair had started to grow out, and she hadn't bothered to have it cut back into the short bob she'd always sported, liking the feel of it on the back of her neck. She was almost tempted to dye the white streaks out… almost. Her gothic clothing was still folded in her suitcase, along with her make up. Her skin was still pale, but with the bright green of her eyes and the natural red of her lips, it didn't look too bad. Smoothing down the white army-style shirt, and her black skirt, she stepped out onto the stage.

"Good luck Marie." Mr. Janes whispered into her ear as he passed her the microphone. It was almost a tradition… she'd been here nearly two months now, and he said the same thing everytime.

"Thanks." She smiled, turning to the audience, unable to see past the lights. She knew it'd be full anyway, Graham had told her earlier as he arrived, that the place was already full as he hung up his leather jacket and went to 'police' the masses.

"Good evenin' everyone. Its nice ta see y'all here t'night. Ah want to start off with a new song t'night, somethin' Ah've been workin' on. Its called, Call Meh When Ya Sober."

The melody started, haunting, gothic, reminiscent of the girl who'd come here and changed into the woman on the stage now.

"Don't cry to me.

If you loved me,

You would be here with me.

You want me,

Come find me.

Make up your mind."

Her voice was strong, clear and astounding. As always, her audience was blown into speechlessness by the sheer talent and beauty of the woman before them, all except for one man, sat in the back corner, his hands curled around a glass of bourbon. He could hear the pain in her voice, and little else as she sang. He noticed the slight tears in the corners of her eyes, the sheen over them.

"Should I let you fall?

Lose it all?

So maybe you can remember yourself.

Can't keep believing,

We're only deceiving ourselves .

And I'm sick of the lie,

And you're too late."

Was he too late, really? It had taken him this long to find her… well, it had taken him two months to find her… the extra time to work up the courage to come here. He didn't know what he was so afraid of seeing… her happy, or her broken.

"Don't cry to me.

If you loved me,

You would be here with me.

You want me,

Come find me.

Make up your mind."

Had it taken him too long to see that he needed her more than bourbon or sex or cigarettes… More than life itself? Was it possible that she'd moved on while he was stuck on her? That wasn't possible, that never happened to him. Never. He was Prince Charming afterall…

"Couldn't take the blame.

Sick with shame.

Must be exhausting to lose your own game.

Selfishly hated,

No wonder you're jaded.

You can't play the victim this time,

And you're too late."

He was the victim this time…a victim of himself. He'd caused that mess, forced her into it… He didn't realise how much he'd put her through because of him.

"Don't cry to me.

If you loved me,

You would be here with me.

You want me,

Come find me.

Make up your mind."

He had made up his mind though… He wanted her. He needed her, and he wasn't going to take no for an answer. It might just kill him to leave here without speaking to her… but it might just kill him to find out she didn't want, love or need him.

"You never call me when you're sober.

You only want it cause it's over,

It's over."

It was all true… every word of it… He would swear that she was singing about him, them. Did she still think about him? This was a new song, afterall, she'd said it herself. Was she over him?

"How could I have burned paradise?

How could I - you were never mine.

So don't cry to me.

If you loved me,

You would be here with me.

Don't lie to me,

Just get your things.

I've made up your mind."

The words felt as though they were burning into him, etching on his heart to remind him how much he'd hurt her.

She finished the song, looking out into the audience with the typical smile on her face as they applauded. She tried to scan them for familiar faces, severely hampered by the lights. There, over by the door… she could have sworn she caught a flash of red. She didn't realise she'd dropped the microphone until Alice Janes stepped up on stage and lead her off.

"Marie, You look as though you've seen a ghost." She handed her a glass of ice water, encouraging her to drink it silently. Rogue could hear Darren announcing that she'd be taking a short break. He sounded so much like Kurt when he spoke of her, that brotherly fond-ness in his voice.

"Ah think Ah did." She smiled. "Ah… maybe Ah need some air…" Without waiting for an answer, she dashed out of the door, glancing around for a moment before looking up on the roof.

"Ah thought Ah saw ya."

"Bonsoir, Rogue."

"Mah name's Marie now."

"Y' name was al'as Marie, Rogue." He sounded tired, exhausted, just sat on the middle of the roof, not looking at her, until she landed on the roof next to him, sitting.

"What are ya doin' here Remy?" He winced slightly. Remy, she'd said. Not Swamp rat or any of those other little pet names she reserved for him.

"Came t' see y' Chere." He smiled weakly, "See how y' were. T'ought maybe y'd want t' see me.." He finished in a whisper. "Y' look tres belle, chere."

"Thanks Remy, but… Ah got a new life here… Ah don't get abuse in th' streets here… Ah got…"

"Dat punk who w' droolin' over y' while y' were onstage?" He interrupted.

"No, Remy." She sighed. "Why did ya really come swamp-rat?"

"Missed y' Chere." He choked out. "But y' don' need Remy."

"Ah never needed ya Remy." She corrected him. "Ah wanted ya… Until Ah left, an came here." He stood, turning away from her and walking down to the edge of the roof.

"S' long Chere."

"Remy…"

"Y' look bien…"

"Remy!" She moved quickly, grabbing hold of his coat and yanking him back onto the middle of the roof. "Will y' listen to meh? Stupid swamp rat al'as goin' off on what he thinks he knows!" She shook her head. "Ah got a new life here… Ah don't get abuse in th' streets here… Ah got what Ah al'as wanted here… 'Cept ya. Ah don't know why, but lately, Ah've been gettin' a bit of a longin' for th' institute…"

He looked up at her, smiling.

"Come 'ome wit' me Chere.."

She took his hand, and nodded.

"One condition Cajun… Y' keep these Russain Hands, an Roman fingers t' yaself, while Ah get mah things." She laughed, pulling his wandering hands off her already, as she kissed him, hard.


End file.
